Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
