Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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