She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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