is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
