I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
