He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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