I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
