You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize