I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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