the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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