He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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