if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize