yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
