Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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