what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
