I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
