the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
