i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
