how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
