I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
