11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
