He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
