There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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