Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so explain again why im purple
no
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
