we're making bets on your personal life
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
