I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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