rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
