No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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