the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
3 2 1 whiskey
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
