dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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