he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i think i have two assholes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
