Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
