guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
