Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
