Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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