Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm passing your future prison.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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