I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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