WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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