The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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