Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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