I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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