oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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