Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
