she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
