White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
