I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
