I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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