My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
