I just threw up on my dentist
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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