69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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