I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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