Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
