Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
