i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Can I color on your dick again?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
