you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
