fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I currently don't understand fingers.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
