shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
