I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
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