Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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