I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize